


A silent, Ugly Cry

by sh0tar1s



Series: Solangelo: the aftermath of the trauma [1]
Category: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Blood, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sobbing, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27084874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sh0tar1s/pseuds/sh0tar1s
Summary: They miscalculated.They fucked up.This couldn't be happening.or: Will begs for his and Nico's life.
Relationships: Apollo & Nico di Angelo, Apollo & Will Solace, Kayla Knowles & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Solangelo: the aftermath of the trauma [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978432
Comments: 18
Kudos: 86





	A silent, Ugly Cry

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry in advance

Something went wrong. They miscalculated.

Will gasped harshly in pain. His ankle throbbed, it felt as if his bones were rubbing against each other roughly. He made an attempt to get up, to just get the hell up and fight. But his foot wouldn't allow it, it was twisted almost all the way around. His arms were bleeding all over from the stab wounds inflicted on him by the maniac they stupidly went after alone.

He could feel his left shoulder dislocate when the asshole slammed him into the ground. And his head? It was pounding, he could barely see through his bruised and bloody eye. Will dropped the side of his head back to the ground, releasing an exhale of pure pain. This was a mistake.

They shouldn't have underestimated Vitalis. They shouldn't have jumped in so quickly.

Chiron told them not to. They didn't listen.

So here was Will, suffering and unable to stand up, all his attempts failed miserably. 

"W-Will," a voice croaked just eight feet away from him.

The blonde averted his gaze to his boyfriend who was crouching on one knee, a hand over his abdomen. Blood poured through the cracks of his fingers and onto the dried up mud beneath them. Will could see blood trickle down Nico's forehead all the way down to his neck. His nose looked completely and utterly fucked, and Will could hear him struggle to breathe. That'd be an absolute bitch to fix.

Upon further inspection, Will could see tears fill his boyfriend's eyes. Nico was rarely scared or hurt to the point of tears, or maybe he just always hid it well. But he could see Nico's veins popping out on his forehead as he tried his best not to cry. Either from pain or frustration, Will had no idea.

"S-stay put," Nico attempted to say but blood poured out his mouth. He coughed and more came out. He inhaled shakily at the sight of the pool of blood forming in front of him. 

Will's eyes widened as did Nico's. Never had either one of them coughed up that much blood, never have they even been in a situation so critical. As a doctor, Will had seen a lot of blood. But not from his own lover, never from him. He had to help one way or another.

He grunted as he attempted to stand again before falling forward, not making it in time to protect his left shoulder. He heard a loud crack and screamed in agony. 

"Will, no!" Nico tried to run over but stumbled as well, landing face first. 

"Ha!" The lunatic, Vitalis, yelled in amusement. "Isn't this precious? Two stupid demigods can't even help each other," he mockingly coo'd. 

Will lifted his head and turned to the side. He could see Nico's shoulders moving up and down like he was crying. He wouldn't be surprised, he was on the verge of tears himself.

"What is it?" Vitalis continued as he sat on his makeshift dirt throne before the two. "Had enough, son of Apollo? Son of Hades?"

Will gritted his teeth and attempted to get up again, but any weight pushed onto his shoulder knocked him back down each time. He turned to Nico again, who now had his head turned to the side and gasping for air. 

The blonde could smell the dirt mixing with blood in his own hair, he could taste the blood from his mouth where a tooth had gotten knocked out. His vision was still blurry, but the longer he laid the better he could make out details. If he got up now, he'd die.

"Wouldn't daddy be disappointed, son of Hades?" Vitalis pouted and commanded dirt to be thrown at Nico. Will could do nothing but feel his anger fester inside him. He wished he could beat up this long haired bastard. But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't.

He could hear Nico swear under his breath. Then, he turned his entire body to the side to reveal he had landed on a rock. It seemed like his entire chest slammed onto it forcefully, Will could see Nico clutching at his rib. He winced, that couldn't feel good.

Nico gave him a look, one that Will could read perfectly. "I'm scared, but I got this." 

The raven haired boy pushed his chest up, forcing himself to rise to his knees and then his feet. He staggered and Will wished he could go and at least support his weight, support something, but he'd be useless. A twisted ankle, dislocated shoulder, he could just barely see and it was getting worse as the dust filled his eyes. Fucking hell.

Nico took in a deep breath, trying his best to relax. But how could you relax in this situation? He was halfway to death, so was his boyfriend. The chances of coming out alive were little to none. Will started to cry at the thought.

He let out a sob of desperation. "Please, Apollo. Dad, dad please," he whispered and pleaded for the god's arrival. He had been asking for an hour, but no response. He knew his dad wasn't ignoring him, he knew it. So what the fuck was taking so long? 

"So, son of Hades," Vitalis, that bastard, smirked and cracked his fingers one by one. "Ready to die?"

Will pleaded Nico with his eyes as well as he could with how beaten up his face was. Don't.

Nico didn't respond, he just gave him an apologetic smile. Apologetic or assuring, Will couldn't tell. He hoped it was the latter.

"No, I'm not," He shakily yet bravely responded. It was obviously a front, he was terrified to die, but he was ready. Ready to continue fighting. Will could see it. His hands shook and the sword clattered but he refused to back down. His legs shook and at any moment he would pass out. With his abdomen still bleeding and a broken rib, he wasn't in the best shape. But he was willing to go on.

That's his Nico, never one to give up. 

"Talk about being annoying," the lunatic complained and yawned. "Tell ya what, I'll bargain."

"Huh?" Nico didn't lower his sword, but his guard definitely was.

"Nico," Will croaked, hoping he could hear. He couldn't.

"I'll just take his life instead."

In a flash, Will could see two pitch black vines erupt from the ground. They grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger, before they charged for him.

His eyes widened. This was it.

But nothing happened.

Will unsqueezed his eyes and looked up again. He almost wished he hadn't.

Nico had jumped in fast enough to shield Will from the monstrous vines. But that wasn't it. Oh, how he wished that was it.

Vitalis stood from his throne. With a manic smile he controlled one vine in a telekinetic manner with his hand. He held Nico with it, who was held high in the air with the vine wrapped around his waist. He punched and kicked but to no avail, he even wailed but more blood spilled out his mouth as the vine tightened around his abdominal wound.

"No," Will barely got out. He still couldn't move although he kept trying.

"Nico, Nico!!" He yelled through panicked breaths as he attempted to stand, sit up, turn over, anything! Nothing, nothing was working. He felt frozen, he couldn't even tell if he was moving.

"Stupid move, young man," Vitalis tightened the vines hold on Nico's waist. "Well, it seems to me that you are ready to die," he laughed.

"No!" Will protested. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. STAND UP!

"W-Will," Nico groaned through his pain. He could barely see from all the blood loss now.

Vitalis let out one last laugh.

"Buh-bye!"

"NO!!!" Will screamed but it was too late.

The vine slung upward, reaching as high as it could go. Then, at the height of its momentum, it slammed down with all its force.

Will let out another scream and shut his eyes tightly before the impact. But that was useless, the sheer force of the drop created a multitude of cracks in the ground and pushed Will back, as well as forced his eyes open.

He rolled and landed on his shoulder and ankle multiple times. He let out screams of pure agony at the feeling of his foot making harsh contact with the ground. He fucked it up even more.

His shoulder started to trickle blood, he could feel it but had no time to look. He was sent far by the impact, almost falling off a cliff but not quite making the fall. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to look at the far fall he almost went down.

He exhaled harshly and waited for another crash, another explosion. Nothing came. A minute later and nothing happened, so he opened his eyes.

"What the fuck."

Will shakily inhaled a bunch of dust and coughed. This time, he coughed up blood. He had a new wound on his head which started to bleed right down between his eyes. He ignored it. With his back now on the dirt, he felt like he had gotten stepped on.

He turned his head to the side again.

"Nico?" 

No answer.

Then the dust started to clear.

Then he saw it.

With Vitalis nowhere in sight, a huge dent formed in the ground. As if someone had landed a rocket, or maybe if the ground caved in on itself. Will had never seen anything like it up close, not till now.

The dust cleared some more.

Will's barely opened eyes widened.

"Nononononono," he kept muttering under his breath.

"Nico!!!" Will used every muscle in his body to get up. Still to no avail, he kept trying. And trying. And trying.

"Nico, no, please," he rolled over and sobbed into the ground as he watched his boyfriend lay there in the middle of the damaged ground, where Nico appeared lifeless.

"Please, no," Will lifted his head and dug his chin into the ground, pulling himself forward and pushing back with his good leg. Good was an overstatement, it was just less fucked than the rest of him.

Sobs rattled his body as he attempted to crawl instead. Fuck his shoulder, he decided, fuck the pain. 

With one last look at Nico's still body, he put all his weight on his knees and right arm and crawled.

"Fuck," his body felt like it was on fire. His shoulder, despite him not using it, was moving too much and cracking more the further he went. His twisted ankle kept banging against the ground, twisting to the right a little more each time. But fuck the pain. Just a little more and he would make it to his lover who he loved so much.

The closer he crawled, the more he could see. Blood. So much blood.

"Nononononono," he shook his head as he forced all his weight on his arm and knees. He grunted and sobbed the more he moved. But that didn't matter right now. What mattered was Nico.

"Fuck."

He fell, landing face first. "Fuck!" He cried and banged his fist against the ground. Just a little more, then he'd make it. 

He army crawled as best as he could. With one arm and one leg, the other two limbs rubbing and scraping against the ground. He didn't care anymore.

He cried, and cried, and cried harder as he continued. He was so close.

Then, he made it, but nothing could've prepared him for what he saw.

Nico was slammed onto his back. His elbows were stripped of his skin and flesh as it hung over the ground, like someone had purposely skinned him. His arms bent in odd angles, his shoulder Will could see had popped out. His head was bleeding, it was bleeding so much that half the pool of blood around him could've been from his head alone. His right leg's tibia had stabbed through his skin and was now presented outside his leg. His eyes were bruised, his jaw broken, his lip split, broken nose even more fucked than before. Everything was covered in blood. Everything was broken.

Will vomited. He could do nothing else. Nothing but empty the contents of his stomach and sob and scream in terror.

"What the fuck?!" He wailed as he landed on his bad shoulder beside nico. He let out another sob at the pain, but it couldn't compare to seeing his lover like this. He couldn't even touch him. Terror filled him, the thought of touching any part of Nico horrified him. He looked so fragile, so breakable. If he touched anything now he was convinced it would send waves of pain through Nico's body.

"Nico," he cried and covered his mouth with his hand. He screamed and begged for help.

"Please! Please, dad! Dad, help!" He kept screaming and screaming until his voice turned hoarse.

Will dared to spare another glance at Nico's battered and beaten body and sobbed again, vomiting some more. What the fuck.

He was dead. His boyfriend had to be dead and he couldn't do anything about it. There was no way Nico could handle the damage. Will's heart was on fire, his hands turned numb as he tried to wipe at his own face. He couldn't feel anything.

So he sobbed and sobbed and begged for him to be okay.

"Please," a sob ripped through his throat. "Please be fucking okay, please, oh god," more wails rattled his weak body.

Nothing was okay. There his lover laid, broken all around. Dying on him. Really, truly, dying. This isn't real.

He heard incoherent mumbling.

"Nico! Nico please are you alive?! Please, Nico, answer me!" He begged his boyfriend to just someway, somehow, let him know he wasn't actually dead. Tell him he wasn't hearing things, tell him he was alive.

But Nico didn't make another sound.

He could see a weak, just barely there, rise and fall of his chest. It was so weak Will thought he'd imagined that too.

"Fuck," he curled in on himself in grief and pain. This couldn't be happening.

"Apollo!!!" He decided to beg again.

"Apollo!!! Please, dad! Dad! I'll do anything! Anything! Please just fucking help! Please, please…."

Will was losing hope, so he closed his eyes. But he continued begging, carried on with his pleads and entangled his fingers with nicos. He could feel they were broken, but he didn't care anymore. This wasn't only the lowest moment of his life, where he begged for help to save his dying boyfriend when he was the doctor, where he lied in his own vomit and the blood of his own lover's. It was all so fucked. But it didn't matter. This wasn't only their lowest moment, this was their last moment. They'd die together.

Nico would die from blood loss, Will would die from starvation and infection. It didn't matter anymore.

"Apollo…"

Then, Will was blinded by a golden light. He couldn't see, but he could hear.

"I'm so sorry…"

-

Light filled his eyesight as Will peeled open his eyes. He groaned as he sat up. His head hurt like someone had kicked it seventy times nonstop.

He laid back down and closed his eyes again, attempting to sleep. Behind his closed eyelids he saw blood. Lots of it. And someone's bone poking through their leg, elbow skin ripped off and practically stapled to the ground. Then he remembered.

"Fuck!"

He quickly sat up and bolted out of the bed.Nico. He needed Nico.

As he stood, he found it was simple. Like his leg was brand new, as if nothing had happened.

God, where is Nico?

The door burst open and Will ran. To where he didnt know, but he would find out.

He saw an orange-green haired girl beside the washrooms and ran to her 

"Kayla! Kayla!" He cried as he stumbled towards his sister.

Upon seeing him Kayla immediately teared up and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Will!" She ran to give him a hug but he rejected it, instead holding her by the arms.

"Where is he?" He demanded.

"W-What?" Kayla's tears stopped. 

"Where. Is. Nico." Will's eyes filled with tears. He needed to see him.

"H-hades cabin," she tried to touch his face but Will ran off.

Hadescabinhadescabinhadescabinhadescabin

He ran till he found it and swung the doors open.

He gasped.

There Nico laid. The blanket pooled around his legs, like someone had checked in on him and forgot to put it back over him. The wounds on his face had healed. His leg seemed to be okay, though still bandaged. Will smiled and cupped his hand over his mouth in disbelief. He was alive. Then his smile dropped.

His arms weren't his. They were robotic. They were mechanical. 

"T-they couldn't be saved. I'm so sorry," said a quiet voice behind him.

Will whirred around and there stood his father. With the build of a nineteen year old, short blond hair, and he had a doctor's coat on.

Will cried more and embraced his dad.

Apollo stood there like a deer caught in headlights. He hadn't expected that, clearly.

Then, Will sobbed and screamed into the gods chest.

"Why?! Where the fuck were you?!" He angrily demanded but embraced his dad tighter, refusing to let go.

Apollo returned the tight hug, resting his head on his son's.

"I'm sorry," Apollo cried into his son's hair. He pulled away from Will and cupped his face. "I'll explain but I need you to calm down for me, okay? Can you do that for me?" Apollo sniffled and quietly asked in a concerned voice.

"I am," he hiccuped. "calm," Will soon discovered he wasn't calm at all. His hands dug into his father's shoulders roughly. His breathing was ragged and uneven, coming out in gasps rather than breaths. His tears just welled up more and more and he had trouble standing without passing out. He didn't feel calm.

"It's okay, it's okay," his dad assured him as he guided him to the second bed in the Hades cabin. 

"Hey, hey, look at me," Apollo cupped his face again once seated and Will could see tears in his eyes. He forgot how concerned he would be, he's his child after all. Apollo may be a god, but he's different from the rest. He actually cared.

"He's okay. Nico is okay. He's alive. You're alive. You're both okay and you made it, alright? Breathe Will, just breathe," he repeated over and over.

With each sentence, Will's breathing calmed down. He was safe. Nico was safe and alive.

"It's not okay," he cried into his hands and his shoulders shook. His sternum felt as if it was compressing itself inwards, his heart felt heavy and restricted. God, what the fuck.

Apollo pulled his son into another hug and caressed his head. They stayed like that for an hour before Will pulled away.

"Thank you," he sniffled and looked over at Nico, who was still sleeping.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be there, Zeus prevented it but I broke out of it as soon as I could and, oh gods, when I saw you and Nico, I-"

"Dad, it's ok," Will cut him off with another hug.

And it was okay. Okay because Apollo still came. What happened wasn't okay, but had Apollo never arrived, nothing would be alright. They'd both be dead.

"You almost died," Apollo mumbled like he read his mind. Who knows, maybe he did. The god accepted his son's embrace, tightening his hold and resting his chin on Will's head. "You could've died." He shakily exhaled.

It was his turn to comfort his dad. "I'm okay, honestly. I promise."

"Fucking zeus," Apollo cursed.

"Fucking zeus," Will agreed. 

"But, Nico…" He winced.

He let go of the embrace and turned to his lover. He walked over and sat on the chair just beside his bed. How badly he wanted to hold his hand. How badly he wanted to. But those weren't his hands.

"His arms, I know, I tried but-"

Will cut off his dad again with a wave.

"No it's okay! You saved his life, I-I couldn't ask for more." 

And it was true, Will didn't care if they got out of there with just their torsos and heads, they're alive. They survived together.

"I'm so sorry I was late," Apollo looked down at his hands in his lap. Will thought that made him look thousands of years younger even in a mortal body.

He smiled, he couldn't blame his dad. At all.

"It's okay, dad. Honestly, it's alright," he averted his eyes back to his sleeping boyfriend. "has he woken up?"

"No, not yet." Apollo smiled apologetically.

"How did you...heal us?" Will's eyebrows scrunched as he tried to wrap his head around just how Apollo could've possibly healed them from all of that.

Apollo blushed and flashed a smile. He looked sorta bashful, Will thought.

"I'm the god of healing, what ya expect?" He playfully smirked. This earned a laugh from Will who realised he shouldn't have asked.

Quickly the laugh died down and he realised he had no idea what date it was.

"Wait, what's today?"

Apollo thought for a moment before remembering and snapping his fingers. "Ah, June sixteen!"

"June sixteen?!" Will exclaimed. "We went on that mission on June fifteen, yesterday."

His jaw dropped as he stared at his dad. One day. His dad only needed one day.

"You- what- how?" He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that it only took one day.

Again, Apollo smiled.

"I ain't the god of healing for nothing, baby."

Will thought that was the understatement of the year. 

He glanced back at his boyfriend.

He wanted nothing but for Nico to wake up. To just wake up and speak. To even just blink. Anything, absolutely anything. He wanted him back so bad. So much so, he ended up holding the cold robotic hand anyways.

"When?" He asked as a tear slipped down his cheek.

With a sigh, his dad got up from the bed and leaned over, pecking his son's forehead and ruffling his hair. 

"Very soon." 

And with that, Apollo took his leave from the cabin but not before looking over his shoulder and giving him a sad smile.

"I'm so glad you're alive. Really, Will. I love you," the god nodded his head at his own words.

Will smiled at his father. "I love you too, dad."

With one last smile, the door shut behind Apollo and the atmosphere of the room changed.

Now they were alone.

Will stared down at his boyfriend's face. Everything had healed, but some scars were left. On his chin there was a large scar that trailed down to his neck. That had to be awful. His nose had a small scar just across the bridge, as well as a small one under his left eye. Couldn't have been as bad as the rest, though.

He remembered it again. The blood, his peeling skin, the tibia sticking out his leg, all his bones bent every which way. He remembered how it felt to see Nico lay there, lifeless. How it felt to think they'd die there and no one would help or find them. 

He started crying again. He couldn't imagine losing his boyfriend. Not to death, never to death. He knew demigods weren't known for their long lifespans, but a life without nico didn't seem probable anymore. It was too brutal, all of it.

He ran to the nearest trash can and vomited. Everything was so fucked up.

He walked back after crying some more in front of the waste, stumbling from exhaustion.

The blonde sat down again and held Nico's new hand. As he held the robotic hand in his own, he tried to imagine it was real. Full of life, warm, soft. But he couldn't.

It was too cold. Too rough. The angles were too sharp. 

That moment on that battlefield, in that disaster, it was their lowest moment. He thought it would be their last too, but that wasn't entirely true.

It was simply the last moment he would hold his hand.

The horrific images of Nico nearly beaten to death flashed across his memory again. He put his head down on his abdomen, squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to think of anything but that. Anything.

"W-Will?" A voice croaked.

Wills head snapped up at the speed of light. His wide blue eyes were met with even wider brown ones. The very eyes he looks into every time they tell each other how much they love one another. The same eyes that roll whenever he does something embarrassing. The same eyes he watched cry on the battlefield.

Nico sat up, as did Will.

They stared at each other like that for a moment before Nico's shock turned to realisation. He glanced down at his arms. Then, he started shaking as he looked at Will again. His face scrunched up and his lip began to quiver.

"Nico!" Will embraced his boyfriend and buried his face in his neck. Oh, how glad he was to hold him.

"Will," Nico's voice cracked as he stiffly rested his metallic hands on his boyfriend's shoulders. The blonde could feel the others shoulders shaking. He let go of the embrace, letting the boys arms fall stiffly from his back onto his lap. He looked up to see that Nico was crying, hard. 

It was the type of cry you see from a child. Maybe your mom turned off the lights and left you in the dark for more than five seconds, so you get upset. Maybe you fell and scraped your knee, so you want your moms attention and cry really hard. Maybe your friend just said they don't wanna be friends with you, so you start bawling.

It was the type of cry where your face is red and scrunched up. Your snot rolls down your face and your hair sticks to your cheeks from the tears. All your wrinkles appear, your eyes and forehead crease. No part of your body moves but your shoulders or maybe just your torso. Your mouth hangs open so widely but no noise comes out, just small squeaks and breathy screams.

An ugly, silent cry.

Like a child.

And in this moment, Will realised they were children.

Children who stupidly thought they could defeat the bad guy themselves. Children who were going to be sent on that mission anyways. Children who were constantly set up by the fates.

They were just children. 

They weren't crying over the dark, they weren't crying over a scraped knee. They were crying over almost losing a friend, a lover, almost losing themselves. 

They were just children, but a child should never go through what they have.

They were just two tiny fucking children.

So, he watched with teary eyes as Nico started to silently cry. He embraced him as a parent would to a child. Nico's head fit the crook of his neck perfectly. The boys mechanical arms were stiff and lifeless in his lap, he seemed unsure of where to put them. He seemed unsure of even moving them.

Will held the back of Nico's head and his shoulders, kissing the side of his head over and over.

Then the wailing started. 

A sob ripped through Nico's throat. He screamed in pain, this time Will knew it wasn't from his injuries.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled into Will's neck. The other just embraced him tighter, letting his own tears fall and soft sobs to escape.

He could hear Nico's mechanical fingers twitch as he attempted to move them. Eventually, he was able to hold onto Will's back and dug his new fingers into his shirt.

"Im so fucking sorry!" He yelled again and sobbed louder, gasping for air to calm his panic. Unsurprisingly, he failed to do that. He started to hyperventilate.

"Shhh, nononono, it's okay Nico," Will said between his own sobs and shaky breaths.

"No! No, I'm so sorry I should've listened I-I, We should've" 

The blonde cut shushed him again, tightening his hold as if Nico was a lifeline. As if the world would cave in if he let go.

"Don't apologize. I-I'm right here. I pro-omise," he shakily whispered into his hair. More tears fell onto the raven locks. Will ignored it. He didn't care how much he cried, he was so glad he could even hold him. 

"D-don't go," Nico twisted his fingers in Will's shirt and borrowed further against his body. In this moment, Will realised how little they actually are. They're tiny, just two tiny humans. Just children.

"I'm not, I'm not," he kissed his temple.

After a few more sobs rattled both their bodies, Will pulled away to breathe.

He cupped his boyfriend's cheeks and attempted to wipe his tears. He was unsuccessful, fresh tears replaced the dry ones and Nico continued to sob.

"Will, your f-face," his breath hitched.

It was then that Will decided to glance at a mirror across the room. He could see it now. A large scar ran through his eye, from just above his eyebrow down to his check. It was a miracle he had both eyes, he decided Apollo was truly the best. His dad wasn't a god for nothing, he could see it so clearly.

Nico raised his metal hand to touch his face. Will flinched at the cold feeling, slightly recoiling. Nico let out a sob.

"I'm s-so sorr-y," he struggled to speak as he hung his head and another wail rattled his entire body.

"Nonononononono," the blonde quickly muttered. He grabbed his hand and held it, kissing it. He didn't care if it wasn't his anymore. It didn't matter if both were gone and were replaced. This is Nico. This is who Nico is. No matter what, he would accept it. He didn't care.

"It's okay, it's okay," he assured as he peppered kisses all over his cold, lifeless hand. 

It could've been different. Nico could've been dead and Will would be holding a dead, cold, lifeless hand. He preferred the current circumstance. He preferred his new body rather than no body. It didn't matter. He loved him.

He laid Nico back down and moved to lay beside him. Once settled, he embraced his boyfriend again. Their arms tangled around each other and legs intertwined together. The younger boy's head was in the crook of his neck again.

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered.

Will pressed more kisses to his head and tightened the hug.

"It's okay, it's okay, w-we're alive, we're okay. We're alive, alive, we're alive" he kept assuring Nico. This made the boy cry harder.

"I love you! I'm so sorry!" Nico continued to sob and wail and scream in terror of the memories and the near loss of each other they had. 

And Will let him. Nico already had PTSD, he had been in Tartarus. He lost his sister. He was born in the fucking 20's as a gay male. And now he almost died in the most brutal way imaginable. Will let him cry out his sorrows.

"I love you too," he whispered into his ear. "so much. Sooo much," Will peppered kisses all over Nico's head, doing whatever he could to let him know they're alive.

"P-please," Nico gasped for air. "dont hate m-me."

Will kissed his head again, pushing his hair behind his ear.

"I don't. I don't hate you. I love you, s-so much," more tears spilled his eyes. They showed no sign of stopping. 

How could he ever hate his lover?

"I love you," the raven haired boy repeated, just as his sobs did.

And so Will did too.

"I love you." 

"I love you," Nico's wails just got louder and his breathing came out in gasps.

"I love you, so much," the blond tightened his embrace.

"I love you," another harsh cry.

"I l-love y-you," this time Will started incoherently whimpering.

Will's head throbbed as he squeezed his eyes shut and cried and wailed into his lover's hair. His chest tightened and his arms stiffed around Nico, his body didn't seem real anymore.

"I love you, I love you, I'm sorry!" Nico clawed at the back of Will's shirt. The metal fingers were different, but it was starting to feel more and more like Nico. It'd have to.

Will didn't care, he just needed his lover to hold him.

"I love you more than anything," Will nasally whimpered as snot clogged his breathing.

They continued through their sobs and tears till both exhausted themselves and fell asleep. Maybe it wasn't a peaceful sleep, but they were together. Together and safe. Everything would be okay.

Had they been outside, they'd know the entire camp could hear their sobbing and crying. They'd know that everyone froze or walked away as far as they could. They'd know that their wails and cries were unbearable.

Had they been awake, they'd know that when Apollo stepped back into the cabin, he covered them with the blanket. They'd know he kissed both their foreheads. They'd know he warmed the bed up for them.

They'd know the god stood there for five minutes and silently sobbed for them.

They'd know that just outside, the camp was crying for them.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this last night and edited this morning, this shit was shat out during my depressive episode. This what happens when I'm sad damn TIME TO GET MORE SAD FOR MORE INSPO
> 
> anyways i hope you all enjoyed! leave a kudos and a comment if you liked it, id LOVE to hear all your thoughts and opinions!


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